Even when you don't know it, strong bonds are forming.

A few days ago I came home from school to see my cat laying in my Daddy's lap on our couch, being very quiet. For most cats, that doesn't seem like a big deal. But with my cat, if he even steps in the house quiet, you need to take advantage of it. Because he HATES our house. I mean, he'll lay on the porch and all that, but won't step foot in our house willingly. So, when I saw that I was concerned. Turns out, he had been hurt. We don't know how, but he was just acting funny. So we kept him in the house from that day until this morning. Why until this morning? Because that's when he passed away. Yeah, unfortunately, he was very very sick. He wouldn't eat or drink anything, and all he would do was lay around the house. Even last night I was worried he had died because he was on my floor being all still. But he was still alive. Then after I gave him a hug and he meowed for me to put him down, he walked away and looked like he could barely walk. So this morning, my Mommy called me to her room ad told me he passed away, and it broke my heart to just see him lying on the little mat in her room, all still. I went into my room and immediately cried. I miss my kitty. RIP buddy :'(

Identities or for hopeless people.

Your cells replace themselvesevery seven years. How do you feel about losing your identiy that often?

Well, people change as quick as lightning, so seven years is a longtime compared to the second it takes for thunder and lightning to shake the world with its presense. And as far as losing my identity so often, I don't really mind. I often have self-consciousness issues, so really, I'd rather be someone else. They say your birthday explains who you are., and I believe that. If I hadn't been born at twenty-five weeks old, three months early, I believe whole-heartedly that I would definately not be the same person I am today. Heck, even my name would be different. Because of my rough start, I have multiple physical/mental disablities, and even though it really sucks, the resulting teasing has made me so much stronger. So as far as losing my identity every seven years, it doesn't bother me. But I like who I am, and I'd never change me.

Bentley_Jones, Twitter sighting

Tell me it doesn't make several people's day when "celebrities" (even those from other countries, but that you like) reply to you on Twitter? I realize several people don't like Twitter, and I'm one of them. I just use it to read up on what singers I like have to say. Well, today, I was checking my Email, and it told me "@Bentley_Jones replied to you on Twitter." it beyond made me happy. I am in love with his music, though most people in the United States haven't heard of him. Yeah, I understand. He's mainly popular in the UK and Japan, but when I saw that he wrote me a message, I practically fainted. It was beyond the coolest thing ever. When recording artists take the time out of the day to send you even the shortest of messages, it's QUITE a big deal.
Thank you Bentley, you made my day, I love you.

Dear people reading my blog,
This is Bentley jones's music, in case you were curious.
Final Night, such a beautiful song. Click it.
Thank you


Love, Angy

So I'd love to be up high above.

When I was about 12 years old, my grandfather had a heat stroke. He was actually my step grandfather, though I considered him more my biological grandfather than my own. He would play with me every time he would come over, and then he would make my day, just with the simplest things. I still remember a day one summer when he came over to visit. I was swimming in the poor in the yard at my biological grandfather's trailer, and that grandfater had been dead for a few years. We had moved there to be with him while he was getting older and dying.
My grandfather, my Papaw Ledell, came over to me and tossed in the cover for the pool filter, so I could swim over and fetch it. I'd always liked those kinds of games, and he knew that. Tossing the little blue plastic pool acccessory back and forth in the pool was the simplest of games, but I'd give anything to be able to just go back to that day, and never stop playing such a game. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him.
That same year, when I was turned twelve, or was turning, such, I don't remember right now, bouth my Granny (my father's mother Dorothy) and my Papaw Ledell mailed me birthday cards. To this day I still have those cards. They are in a red pocket folder in my room that says "Stephanie. This folder is not to be used for anything othe than club." My niece Stephanie and I made a club when we were little, sometime around that same year. I don't know where my folder for that club is, but I used ers because she is my favorite person in the world. One day, when my mother wa cleaning my room, she nearly threw away an old card, and that made me think about the cards my grandparents had seen my all those years ago. So, the first thing I did after we finished cleaning my room, I went to the little red Folder, and took out the card he sent me. When I just simply saw the envelope, I burst into tears, and when I opened it up through the blur of my tears, I broke down. I sobbed. *blink blink blink* Excuse me, I'm about to cry just thinking about that. Even the simple memory I mentioned earlier about the pool and now reading the card, it really hurts. I know it's been over six years since his death, but when someone you want nothing more than to die to be with, even if it will hurt so many others leaves you, you never EVER get over that.
I love you Arthur Ledell Scoggins. Forever. *beat beat beat* You;ll always ALWAYS be in my heart.

So three years ago...

So, three years ago, in tenth grade, I was first allowed too go to homecoming. I was so excited. But turns out, i didn't even get to go. I went dress shopping with my nieces, got a really nice dress from JC Penny (still have it, it's in my closet for fancy occasions), and Stephanie did my makeup and all that. So then we (Steph and her friend (Shelby I think) in one car, and my brother drove me) all went down to Ruth Doyle fr the dance, and since I couldn't find my ID, Steph and Shelby were going to go ask if I could just go in, and then they never came back, so turns out, after being so excited, I didn't even get to go. I was pissed. I got all excited, and then my hopes were shattered. that seems to happen to me a lot. So, from this experience and many, I learned a valuable lesson. Never look to forward to anything. You can look forward to it, just not to much, cause you'll be lete down, you know?

An Introduction to my favorite piece. (Not nonfiction.)

Okay, so I know a blog is usually for commenting on how society works and all that jazz, but I just felt like posting the first part of what I have so far of a story I've been writing for a few years. Any excuse to get a bigger audience, right?
Well, hit the little button that says "October 2011" if it's not already open, and hit "Just a Dream." and enjot the first enstallment. I'll be adding to it every once in a while when I get to decent stopping places to post (it's a short story I've been working on for a while). Well, what are you waiting for? Go read!

Even the shyest person can hear you.

Okay, in the title, I may have spelled "shyest" wrong. Bit that's not the the point. The point is that my heart is not indestructable.
I have fallen in love with the movie Cyberbu//y, and the message makes me want to cry every time I watch it.
Do you remember the story about Megan Meier, the girl that hung herself because she was being cyberbullied, and the bully, pretending to be a 16 year old by, was actually the mother a friend of Megan's? Well, that's what inspired this movie. Kris (Taylor's mother) actually makes a reference to it.
Sorry. I'm getting off topic to what I originally wanted to say. This post is no a movie review this time. You'll be able to tell, because all of my movie reviews will have the movie posters at the top.
When I wanted to say was that bullying hurts. The other day, I'm not sure which day of the week it was, but I had my second experience with being teased this year. I always try to be so strong when this happens, but I wanted to cry this time. I thought that this year, everything would die down. My senior year is supposed to be amazing. I even spent three days with the love of my life, just over a month ago.
So like I said, every time I am made fun of, it breaks my heart. Eventually I won't have much of a heart left to break. Eventually it will just be dust. Even though here is a little bit of my heart hat cant be broken becase it's not mine to be broken, all the rest of it can be obliterated. And there is always a little part that won't be touched because it's inside the one person that I have given my soul to.
But what's left of my heart that is mine and inside my own body is doomed. I know I will be teased my entire life, and I know I can't control that. They think I can't hear them. But I can. What they're talking about, I'm very sorry, but I can't control that. I'm sorry that I'm not perfect. I'm sorry that you are so insecure about your own petty problems, so you have to tease someone just to make yourself feel good.
I've even tried to cut myself, just to inflict enough pain just to get over how I'm suffering inside. I'm to scared to cut myself, but I do do anything else I can to inflict pain. I know that isn't right, but what else can I do?
About three years ago, I developed anorexia. It's because of bullying and family issues, but I'm trying to get over it. It's really hard. Especially since no one on my family believe me. Once I went to the doctor ad weighed 99 pounds. then when I went to the doctor a fwew months later, I was in the lower 80s. But oh well.
See what I mean when I say bullying sucks? No matter what people are doing, if you're near them and they hear you talking about them, they are going to pay attention and get hurt. So thanks a lot, girls in my anatomy class that I shall not mention. Thanks.

The Last Song movie review

So I just watched The Last Song. It's such a beautiful movie. Miley Cyrus does such a good job as Ronnie. Did you know that Miley picked the name Ronnie? Well, she did. Nicholas Sparks is such an amazing writer. I never knew what a screenplay was, so I finally decided to ask my Daddy what it was. He told me, long story short, that it was kind of a fancy name for a movie script. Well, Nicholas Sparks did something sort of odd when he wrote The Last Song. When he did this, of course he still made the book ten times better, even though the movie stuff technically came first.
Well I've never done a movie review before, so I don't know why I am. I guess I just wanted to point out why it is my favorite movie. Well, here goes.
So it starts with Ronnie being very distant with her family, and adamantly refusing to pay the piano, which she has grown up playing her whole life. Then it goes on throughout the movie to show how her relationship with Will Blakelee completely changes this, and her distance from her father eventually disappears. Towards the end of the movie, a tragedy occurs, and she finds it necessary to finish the piano piece her father had been working on for her. Then, finally, at the church, just as soon as Will walks in after being at Vanderbilt since the end of summer, and inevitable, the end of he and Ronnie's relationship the light shines through the stained glass window that Steve and Jonah had been working on all summer. When Ronnie sees this light, she knows that her father was trying to say "Go ahead Ronnie, it's going to be okay." That just made me want to cry. Of course, the whole movie made me want to cry.
I just feel like there is no better two people to play Ronnie and Will than Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. They just made the characters seem so real. Well, end of my movie review. All in all, I'm pretty much trying to say that I am in love with this movie.

Okay, so I have a blog. Wow.

Okay so blog entry number one. Here goes...

Dear Blog journal,
     So I've never been just for blogging. I always have a lot better things to do, you know? It's not that I have anything against writing to a blog, it's just that I'm not one for making my thoughs and feelings known to the whole world. Well since this is a school project, and a good place to get thing off my mind, I might as well.
     Okay so this stupid blog maker is driving me nuts. Or it could be the enter key on my keyboard, but still! It's having a lot of trouble with knowing when I hit enter. The journaling thing doesn't recogniz when I tell it to go down. Or I hit enter and it goes right back to the beginning of the paragraph I'm trying to end. Or the little cursor sticks and even though the page is going down, I don't notice. The cursor only goes to the bottom of the page when I hit backspace, which makes no sense to me. when you hit backspace, shouldn't the page get shorter, instead of going to the end of the entry and getting longer?
     Well, it worked that time. Amazing. Maybe it heard me getting mad about it. Oh my gosh, Blogger.com can read minds! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!
     Well, anyway people, ciao!